Everyone seems to go away in August. My business partner finally took a holiday, our new business development consultant was on holiday, our clients are away, prospective clients are away … am I missing something? I always tend to go away in June and September. This year it’s been different though and I’ve unfortunately front-loaded my year so I now have a 6 month marathon to make it to Christmas. Thankfully my job is my passion so it won’t feel like the type of marathon where I’ll be gasping for air after the first mile wondering how on earth I’m going to make it through the next however many miles when my feet already feel like they’re dragging half the mud I’ve just trampled on. Miles of contemplation whether I’m actually capable of doing such a thing which consequently leads to a marathon of self-doubt, disappointment, anger, bursts of motivational discussions with myself coupled with the other person on my shoulder saying ‘but you’re feeling so exhausted, this isn’t natural’ ultimately leading to a demise in all self-worth and ambition for doing something for myself…….but the next 6 months won’t be like that. They’ll be full of exciting opportunities and projects … that’s the motivational speaker in my head talking again.
Work is a funny thing. Even when you do something you love it is never the idyllic scenario those with ‘normal’ jobs think it is. Sometimes I crave a mundane job where I’m not haunted by my own insecurities and anxieties of success and fear of failure. But this is usually short-lived. But during the times it does exist, it feels never ending. Artistic temperament a curse or motivation? My experience is it is both. It’s at the root of my development because I’m constantly questioning myself but those closest to me would probably say it can be a curse because of my consequential mood swings. That and it does cause creative blocks when I’m doubting what on earth I’m hoping to achieve in this crazy creative world I immerse myself in. Is there a corporate world alternative I wonder?
Quotes for August ‘ You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.’ — Tony Gaskins
‘The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behaviour lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behaviour’ — M. Scott Peck